I wanted to start a new tradition this year. Now that our family is growing and we live so far from everyone, I wanted to start sending out Christmas/New Year Cards.
Instead of just a plain old card sending well wishes I also wanted to include a little family letter, if you will, about everything that has been happening with our family throughout the year.
Unfortunately, I might have picked the wrong year to start because 2018 was easily the hardest year of my life. In July of this year my baby sister very suddenly and tragically passed away. There are no words that can describe the pain and sadness you feel when losing a sister.
This was not something that I have openly shared with the blog or any of my social media except for a small caption on Instagram to give a reason as to why I haven’t posted or blogged in a while. Grief is hard. To some, on the outside, it looks like I still have it all put together but grief is hard and the pain is still very raw and real.
Yes, time heals all wounds but I have to think… do I want it to get better? Do I want it to get easier? So many parts of me scream “YES! Please make the pain bearable!” but then I think that if it does I’ll start to lose her. I’ll start to forget who she was, how she sounded, what she looked like, all of our cherished moments gone because I wanted to feel less pain. Of course, none of this would happen and I will remember her forever but your brain does weird things when flooded with pain and sadness.
While the year is gone and a new start awaits us all, this still does not yet make the pain and sadness any easier. Yes, time does heal all wounds and this is just another month… another year… to help heal and start to rebuild new life from the ashes.
On some happier notes, Stefan was offered and accepted his dream job out in Dallas, Texas and we’ll be moving there in the summer of 2019! I’m so excited for this new chapter of our lives and finally feeling like we are able to settle down and plant some roots in our (hopefully) forever home and forever city. We have a trip planned for the middle of January to go house hunting. I am very excited to get out there and start exploring and looking at all the houses. I’m also very overwhelmed because I just remember what the process was when we were looking for our current home.
So goodbye, Michigan and Hello, Texas!
There was also so much to be thankful for this year as we welcomed our fourth and final baby on April 9th. We already have three beautiful girls and now our precious boy.
The girls have been growing like weeds and Alyssa is 12, Aubrey is 4, and Alivia turned 2. We definitely have our hands full with all the littles. Also, please tell me how I am old enough to almost have a teenager in my house?!?
Alyssa is still very much a tom-boy and lover of all the video games just like her dad. Aubrey is very much a diva and loving all things pink, sparkly, and having anything to do with fancy, princesses, ponies and unicorns. Since Alivia and Aubrey are so close in age, Alivia is following right in her footsteps.
Finally, onto me… with the news of my sister, the blog had taken a backseat for a time. While it is still growing and thriving it hasn’t been my focus main focus. The past couple of months, however, I have started to get back into it to take my mind off the grief, pain, and sadness that I now face every day. It is a process but I’m working through it the best in can. I’m still taking it into a new direction with more lifestyle and fashion posts and I’m loving it. It just feels so much more natural… and much more “me” and it seems that my followers love it too so we’ll see where it goes from here.
That’s all for this year. I’m excited for all the new changes that await us in the new year. We wish you health, happiness, and prosperity in the new year.
New beginnings await us on the horizon… Goodbye, 2018. Hello, 2019.
Photo by Henington Photography