Yesterday was my sisters birthday. She would have been turning 22 years old.
If you’re not sure what I’m talking about or just want a few more details, I wrote a little more about it here.
It has been a very difficult year since her passing. I’m still not 100% sure how to deal with it, not even 50% sure how to deal with it, and I’m also 100% ok with that. You don’t really ever “get over” someone passing or even “move on”. You just learn to live with the pain. You learn to live with the sadness. It becomes a part of your everyday.
Unfortunately, my hubby is still away in Michigan for work and so I was unable to lean on him. He tried his best to get his shifts covered as soon as he realized, but it didn’t work out.
Thankfully, Seana, my cousin, our cousin, agreed to come celebrate her birthday with me.
I didn’t know what else to do.
I know for a fact that she would not want me to be sulking on the couch, crying into a glass of wine on her birthday. I know for a fact that she would be out celebrating with me. So Seana and I went to a tattoo consultation for me and dinner together. We had some amazing authentic Mexican food and great margaritas.
She would have wanted that.
It’s what I keep telling myself.
What else do you tell yourself to make it better?
I’m getting the tattoo in her honor. But I’m waiting until our other sister comes to visit so we can get them together. Hence the reason for just a consult.
Grief is hard. It comes in waves. Some days I can handle the tide. Others it’s as if I’m drowning with no way to surface. Yesterday was an ‘other’ day. Today is one also.
I will forever and ever celebrate her birthday.
I will forever and ever ride the tide.